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Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Do not bring your child to yoga class!

Dear Poor Judgement Lady

I understand you had an off night and now you are paying the price by lugging around that three year old wherever you go. But there are others who didn't do anything wrong (so grossly wrong that is) and so should not have to deal with your karma issues.

There are a few things that are an absolute no-no in yoga class etiquette. For example: when your head is close to the mat, you SHOULD NOT wipe your sweaty nose on it and pretend like nothing happened! <Damn right, Uncle from Chennai...I saw what you did!> Or let me see, BRINGING YOUR THREE YEAR OLD TO CLASS! Really who the fuck does that!

I get it you want to go from your MLLG (Mother looking like grandmother) status to a MILF but that is no excuse to have your three year old (with the attention span of a fruit fly) run around the class while people are trying to hug their knees and sit on an invisible chair!

And even if you did you have no choice but to bring your spawn, whatever happened to bringing books or colours or a sedative to keep the devil's incarnate down!? 


What did you think I was missing in my practice?  A three year old laughing along my side while I can barely keep myself supported on my arms? Or worse having a three year old try and balance the same pose perfectly right next me? Yeah right you tiny showoff, let me see you do this when you are 28 ! 

I willingly pay money to twist my body like a pretzel, have #fail moments and wake up absolutely sore the next day. 
What I don't pay for is your child between my legs! And I really do not want that thrown in for free.

If there is no one to help you on a day, take a break. Take your child to the park, mix vodka in your vitamin water and watch your sunshine play! Or even better....do yoga at home. 


But please do not bring your child to yoga class.

Yours sincerely
LIW





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